Joe Lieberman Visits Bill O'Reilly,
Part I: The Senator Engages in Some Big Time Ass-Kissing
August 3, 2001
Joe "The Pious
Prude" Lieberman guaranteed his place in the Ass-Kisser's Hall of Fame
with his performance yesterday on Bill O'Reilly's Fox News talk show
"The O'Reilly Factor." As you read these bits of the
transcript, keep two things in mind:
First, these written transcript
excerpts can't even begin to convey Lieberman's fawning tone. If these
excerpts were dialogue in a screenplay, each of Lieberman's subsequent lines
would have the stage directions "(obsequiously)", "(more
obsequiously)", and "(even more obsequiously)."
Second, this conversation took place
in the face of O'Reilly's usual overbearing, pompous egomania, which
Lieberman was so clearly eager to feed.
Now the excerpts:
A harbinger of things to
O'REILLY: So, Senator
Lieberman, welcome to THE O'REILLY FACTOR. [sarcastically] I'm glad you
finally made it here.
SEN. JOSEPH LIEBERMAN (D), CONNECTICUT: Bill, I am too. Thank you
Lieberman works in a
congratulations to O'Reilly for how well his program is doing in the face of
LIEBERMAN: That's the
problem... [W]e say to them, you used to have a code of conduct in movies,
You drew the lines on which you would compete so you wouldn't go down into
the gutter. Why don't you do it again?
O'REILLY: No, they can't because there's too much competition now. The
industries are wide open. There's too much competition to get the
LIEBERMAN: You're doing OK.
O'REILLY: Yeah, we're doing fine.
Lieberman's "shocked, shocked"
that he had been invited on the program and didn't know about it:
O'REILLY: And that brings
me to my other question. You guys, Gore and you, you'd be sitting in the
White House right now... if you'd come on THE FACTOR. Now...
O'REILLY: ... no, you would have, and here's why.
O'REILLY: We had so -- we have a very large audience in Florida. And many
of those people are independents or libertarians, a lot of people.
And you guys flat out would not come on this program. We were stunned.
LIEBERMAN: Seriously? Seriously?
O'REILLY: We were stunned.
LIEBERMAN: I've got to tell you the truth. I never knew that I was
He likes Bill, he really, really likes
him, and he'll certainly keep coming back:
O'REILLY: Oh, come on. Then
fire your whole staff because we kept calling and calling and calling, and
the Gore guys not only would they say no, he's not going to come on,
they'd say, "We hate you, we hate you," because they thought
were rooting for Bush, you know.
LIEBERMAN: Yeah. Well, I like your show and I like you. And, you know,
I'll keep coming on, because (INAUDIBLE)...
Again, he's glad he came on the show,
in fact so glad, he jokes maybe he should use O'Reilly as a consultant:
O'REILLY: Listen, Hillary
Clinton is going to run for president. Did you know that?
LIEBERMAN: No, I hadn't heard that.
O'REILLY: Oh, yeah. She's been sneaking over to Iowa... and she didn't
think that we knew. But we do know.
And she's been having her caucus groups like this. And she says she's not
going to run, but she's running. Now...
LIEBERMAN: All right, I'm glad I came on the show.
O'REILLY: Would you run against her? Could you see that, can you envision
LIEBERMAN: Oh, look, it's early, a lot closer to 2000 than 2004... I'm
keeping the doors open.
O'REILLY: Yeah, but she's raising all kinds of money with Hill PAC and
she's going out to Iowa, I know it's early, but if you don't get on the
stick, she's going to have a big advantage.
LIEBERMAN: All right, maybe we should consult. You can give me some advice
And a parting kiss-up to
O'REILLY: Hey, good to see
you. You're welcome anytime. You tell that Al Gore I'm looking for him
LIEBERMAN: All right. We've been trying to figure out why we didn't do
better in Florida. And now I know why.
O'REILLY: Now you know. OK,
nice to see you, Senator.
O'Reilly is by now grinning ear to
ear, even more pleased with himself than usual.
It's understandable that Lieberman
would like access to the eyes and ears of O'Reilly's one million viewers,
but have you no shame, Joe? It was embarrassing to watch.
Please, Joe, do your most obsequious
ass-kissing in private.